I Want Some Mayo

I couldn't open the mayonnaise for my sandwich. I tried for about 2 minutes and no success. No one was home, too, so I couldn't work as a team with any of my roommates, and even though Janet's not that strong...it still would have helped (welcome back to SD, Janet).

I was examining the mayo to see how much of it was left and if I could just break it open with a knife and throw the rest of it away, but it was half full (or empty...you decide). I then tried opening it again...but no dice.

I thought to myself, "I'll just go knock on someone's door and hopefully a strong man will answer." (Imagine if a woman answered the door and I asked if there was a strong, handsome guy living there. Jk about the handsome. Although, that wouldn't be bad...not bad at all.)

I was getting out of my apartment and lo and behold, there was a guy (he was with a girl [both Asian college students] but she was useless to me)! I was hesitant to ask because who does that...But he was there and I had to take advantage of him (never have I ever said that in my life!). He was walking down the hallway and some random girl with mayo in her hands approached him from the opposite direction.

I thought he wouldn't be strong enough because that mayo was so TIGHT!! But HE DID IT!!! Yay for me!! And him. What if he couldn't open it. The girl would have thought differently about him. I bet he was trying really hard to open the mayo.

The whole thing was embarrassing for me and my sandwich.

But whatever, it's not like he knew where I lived--wait, no. He saw me get back into the apartment. Oh, wait!! It's not like he could remember where exactly I lived because--no, no. My apartment is right in front of the elevator. Great.

Guy, if you're reading this: Thanks!! Same time next week??

CHEERS!!!